


melancholy

by veLEvet



Category: LOONA (Korea Band), Momoland (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Colors, F/F, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-01-23 15:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18552334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veLEvet/pseuds/veLEvet
Summary: For all her life, Hyunjin's only ever seen her tattoo as blue.





	1. Blue

**Author's Note:**

> this will be multiple chapters, don't know how many  
> please don't rush me or ask when the next chapter is coming

For as long as Hyunjin can remember, her tattoo’s always been blue.

 

The tattoos are supposed to change colors, Hyunjin’s been told so often, to reflect the mood your soulmate is feeling.

 

But Hyunjin’s tattoo always been the same muted blue.

 

So many other kids know what the colors represent– red means anger, yellow means happiness, and pink means love –but Hyunjin’s never had to learn them. She only knows that blue means sadness, because that’s the only color that her tattoo’s ever shown. Sometimes she wonders if her soulmate sees their tattoo as blue too, because every time Hyunjin looks at her tattoo, she’s overcome with sympathy and sadness. Her soulmate must be so miserable all the time, no light in life to bring them joy, nothing to make them feel love, nothing to even make them feel anger.

 

Hyunjin just wants to meet her soulmate so she could try and make life a little less blue.

 

She doubts her soulmate deserves a life shrouded in blue.

* * *

It takes seventeen years for Hyunjin to notice a change in color to the small tattoo of a crescent moon on her left wrist. One night, as she’s changing into her pajamas after arriving at home, she looks down at her wrist and is taken aback by the sight that she sees there.

 

The normal muted blue tattoo on her wrist is now a stark black.

 

Hyunjin wants to be happy, happy that her soulmate is experiencing an emotion other than sadness, but the sight of the black color fills her with dread.

 

No emotion represented by the color black could be good.

 

Hyunjin quickly moves over to where her phone rests on her bed, unlocking it to look up what emotion black stands for. Hyunjin’s heart drops into her stomach when she sees that that color represents fear.

 

Hyunjin lets out a defeated sigh and throws her phone back on the bed before falling on the bed herself. She rolls over onto her back and huffs to try and blow the hair out of her eyes, but she fails. Dully she looks at the ceiling, a sadness coming over her strong enough she’s sure her soulmate’s tattoo is bright blue.

 

She hopes her soulmate is okay. Something terrible must be happening for Hyunjin’s tattoo to change color… Sometimes Hyunjin wishes she could just find her soulmate and hug them, and help them through the darkness in life when, for her soulmate, the darkness and negativity just gets too oppressing.

 

Hyunjin turns out her light and gets under her blanket to sleep. She can’t do anything to help her soulmate, as much as it pains her, so she just tries to forget about it so she can sleep.

 

She doesn’t sleep much that night. She can’t stop thinking about her soulmate and how she just wishes things could be different for them.

* * *

Two days later, a new student joins Hyunjin’s class.

 

The teacher introduces the new student as Nancy, who just moved from the United States to Korea. The teacher also makes a point to speak in slow, simple Korean, but Nancy shuffles awkwardly on her feet, her gaze averted to the side.

 

“I-I speak Korean just fine… You don’t have to worry,” Nancy says quietly barely audible. Her voice is soft and high-pitched, and it carries her shyness so blatantly.

 

The teacher just brushes it off, and returns to a normal speaking voice from there. Hyunjin’s attention shifts from the teacher to Nancy, and she looks her new classmate over.

 

Nancy’s uniform looks spiff and new, freshly bought following her move to Korea. She has a pale complexion, a small nose, and small eyes. She wears round glasses, and has long black hair that is slightly curled and messy. Her eyes don’t move off of the floor or someplace fixed on the wall. Hyunjin frowns at the sight. Nancy looks really scared to be in a new school, in a new country, surrounded by unfamiliar people and customs. Hyunjin gets the inkling that Nancy is shy enough without all of these new changes, but the culture shock above what else must just be the final tipping point for poor Nancy.

 

The teacher asks the students all to introduce themselves to Nancy, going around the room and just saying their names. Hyunjin’s one of the kids in the back row, so she’s one of the last to introduce herself. When it’s her turn, Hyunjin takes her feet down from atop her desk and stands, looking over at Nancy, meeting her eye.

 

“My name’s Hyunjin,” she says. Nancy’s eyes are wide when Hyunjin looks into them, and her next words catch in her throat to see Nancy’s startled eyes and parted lips when Hyunjin addresses her. “Nice to meet you.”

 

Nancy blinks. No one else says anything besides their name to her, so Nancy looks more than surprised when Hyunjin adds something else to her introduction. “N-Nice to meet you too…!” She says after a delay much to her own embarrassment, still caught off-guard.

 

Hyunjin flashes a smile and slides back into her seat, kicking her feet up and letting out a sigh with puffed out cheeks. She feels a little embarrassed to have tripped up on her words so much like that, but she brushes it off without much more thought. There’s an open seat next to Hyunjin in the back of the classroom to which the teacher directs Nancy’s attention, and Nancy just nods and starts to make her way there.

 

As Nancy walks between the aisle of other desks, Hyunjin looks up to her and shoots her a smile, trying to show Nancy that she doesn’t bite so she doesn’t have to worry about her new assigned seat. Except Nancy only has her gaze set on the desk and she moves quickly as she can to get there, trying not to stand out more than she already has since she stepped into the classroom that morning. Hyunjin frowns again, but she can’t blame Nancy for it. She would probably hate to have the spotlight on her as much as that if she were shy. It sounds like an introvert’s nightmare.

 

Once Nancy is seated, the teacher starts the first lesson of the day and begins a powerpoint lecture on their history module. Hyunjin hears Nancy unzip her bag to pull out a notebook for taking notes, but Hyunjin doesn’t move her feet off her desk and make any effort to write down anything from the powerpoint or the lecture. She starts to zone out, glancing around the classroom and thinking about anything other than history. At one point, she glances over at Nancy, who’s diligently taking notes in a structured outline. Nancy seems to be a good student, unlike Hyunjin most of the time.

 

It’s just that learning for eight hours everyday, early in the day isn’t that appealing to Hyunjin. She’d rather take a nap then learn about history at 9am. She can learn it on her own later at a more agreeable time.

 

The history period passes quickly due to Hyunjin effectively zoning out during it, and following the end of history, there’s a brief break before the teacher resumes with math. The teacher announces that for most of the class, they’ll be completing a problems packet in partners and going over their answers with the rest of the class at the end of the period.

 

As soon as the teacher mentions partners, Hyunjin hears a faint, high-pitched whimper from the girl in the desk next to her. She looks over to see Nancy with her chin on the desk, arms stretched out in front of her in defeat. Her lips are pouted sadly and her eyebrows are knitted together, her glasses falling to the edge of her nose. Hyunjin frowns at the sight. Nancy seems shy enough as is, so being thrown directly into finding a partner in a new class in a new school in a new country must be the worst situation imaginable.

 

So, while the teacher hands out the packets, Hyunjin doesn’t take her eyes off Nancy, who takes the paper as soon as it’s handed to her and brings it to her face and pretends to read it even though her eyes are scanning the room, looking to see how the other students partner up.

 

Nancy finally lowers the paper from in front of her face and Hyunjin just grins faintly at her.

 

Hyunjin has other friends in the class, but they can find different partners just this once.

 

“Hey, Nancy,” Hyunjin says, tilting her head with that grin still on her face. “Want to work together on this packet?”

 

Nancy looks over at Hyunjin, her doe eyes widened slightly from surprise. Yet, there’s a hint of relief on her expression, especially when she nods back and agrees.

 

Hyunjin’s smile widens when Nancy says yes, and she takes her desk and pushes it against Nancy’s, scooting her chair over shortly after. She looks at the first page of problems briefly, then flips over and eyes the others before she focuses on Nancy. “I got a trick to these packets, you know,” Hyunjin says playfully.

 

Nancy looks up from the packet at Hyunjin, an eyebrow raised.

 

Hyunjin smiles a little devilishly. “I complete the entire front page, then pick one problem on the rest of the pages to fill out. That way it looks like I’m done, and I volunteer to answer one or two of the questions I actually did so the teacher doesn’t call on me.”

 

Hyunjin looks at Nancy, gauging her response to see if she’d be on board to doing something like that. Nancy just scrunches her nose though, forcing her glasses back up the bridge of her nose by doing so. “That’s smart, I guess…” Nancy says in that soft, reserved voice of hers. “I don’t- I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to do that on my first day, though…”

 

“Right,” Hyunjin brushes it off easily, focusing back on the packet, especially if she’s to fill it all out. “Gotta make a good first impression, after all. Do you know calc?”

 

“I took it last year, actually,” Nancy admits hesitantly. “...D-Don’t tell anyone that, though. I kind of botched the math placement exam on purpose…”

 

Hyunjin smiles to hear it. “Your secret’s safe with me, but on one condition...” She teases.

 

Nancy swallows and looks at Hyunjin, growing nervous since she doesn’t know it’s a joke. “...Which is?”

 

Hyunjin’s smile reaches her eyes and she lets out a laugh. “You’re gonna help me fill out this packet, right?”

 

Nancy blinks, confused at first, but eventually she relaxes a little around Hyunjin and flashes a small, tiny ghost of a smile at her, so quick and small that it’s hard to tell if it’s even there. “Sure.”

 

And Hyunjin still manages to catch a glimpse of that smile, but the sight of it doesn’t make Hyunjin’s own smile grow. Instead her grin just mellows out and softens, and she nods her head with a faint laugh.

 

They work together for the rest of the period, with Nancy quietly pointing out any mistakes that Hyunjin makes. She isn’t rude or pushy about it; in fact, she hesitates every time before she speaks up in that small voice of hers to guide Hyunjin in the right direction. Hyunjin’s sure to thank her or flash her a smile every time she does so she doesn't feel bad, and it works, if only slightly.

 

And when the teacher calls on Hyunjin for the answers and she gets it right, and the teacher seems impressed, Hyunjin just looks over at Nancy and grins. Nancy eventually glances over too, blinking at Hyunjin before averting her gaze when she realizes she meets Hyunjin’s eye. Hyunjin looks away too, except that grin is still on her face as she does so.

 

Later, about half an hour after noon, the class lets out for lunch. Hyunjin throws all of her stuff into her bag and slings it lazily over her shoulder, glancing towards the front of the room. Some of her friends are grabbing their bags and getting ready to leave, and Hyunjin fully intends on joining them. Though she glances out of the corner of her eye, seeing Nancy packing up as well. Hyunjin looks between her friends and Nancy before figuring that her friend group can survive without her for lunch.

 

“Hey,” Hyunjin tilts her head at Nancy, flashing a smile. “You got any plans for lunch?”

 

Nancy looks up, surprised to be addressed, and she slowly comes to shake her head. “No…”

 

“Wanna sit with me?” Hyunjin offers, her smile widening a little.

 

“Uh, sure,” Nancy says, still a little dazed that she’s being spoken to, much less being asked to lunch. “With you and your friends, or…?”

 

Hyunjin shakes her head gently. “Nah. Just me. Is that alright?”

 

Nancy lets out a breath from relief and slumps her shoulders. “That’s better, actually…” She mumbles under her breath.

 

“What was that?” Hyunjin asks.

 

“N-Nothing…” Nancy shakes her head and clears her throat. “Um… Show me the way?”

 

Hyunjin nods and waves for Nancy to follow her, leading them out into the halls where the other students are gradually migrating towards the cafeteria. When they reach the dining hall, Hyunjin looks around at the semi-empty tables, pursing her lips. She just glances over at a nearby small table and shrugs, tossing her keys onto the table to claim it.

 

“Ours now,” Hyunjin says, walking over to the table and setting down her bag. She glances up at Nancy. “Did you bring lunch or are you gonna buy it?”

 

“I brought my own,” Nancy answers, opening her bag and pulling out her lunch.

 

Hyunjin nods. “Cool. I need to get mine. I’ll be back.”

 

Nancy sinks into one of chairs and nods slowly. “Okay.”

 

Not wanting to waste much time, Hyunjin quickly heads up to join the small lunch line. Fortunately they’re there a little early, so she doesn’t have to wait long in line to get her meal and pay for it and join Nancy back at the table.

 

As soon as Hyunjin sits down, she notices the food Nancy’s pulled out of her lunch bag, and Nancy looks at the food on Hyunjin’s tray.

 

“What’s that?” Hyunjin asks, jutting her chin towards what’s in Nancy’s hands.

 

“This?” Nancy glances it over and just shrugs slightly. “Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. My mom made it for me.” Her face falls slightly and she looks at Hyunjin, a little panicked. “Oh, no… Don’t tell me there’s no PB&J in Korea…”

 

Hyunjin quickly shakes her head. “No– there is, I just–” she shrugs. “I don’t eat that stuff often.”

 

Nancy lets out a soft, relieved sigh. “Whew… You scared me…”

 

Hyunjin flashes a quick smile. “Sorry.”

 

“It’s okay,” Nancy says quietly. She looks over at Hyunjin’s tray again, blinking at everything that’s on it. “Is that… is that what lunches are normally like here?”

 

Hyunjin nods. “Yeah. There’s a lot of rice and noodle dishes. It’s always pretty decent.”

 

Nancy pouts her bottom lip for a moment, glancing down at her food. “School lunches in America are never that good…”

 

Hyunjin lets out a laugh, but she seems to catch herself and shakes her head. “Sorry. That shouldn’t be funny,” she says, still smiling. She slides her tray a little closer to Nancy. “Do you want to try some? Just so you know what you’re getting into if you decide to get lunch here.”

 

Nancy glances at Hyunjin, eyebrows raised. “Really?”

 

Hyunjin nods and hands Nancy her chopsticks. “Go for it.”

 

Nancy takes the chopsticks and searches for what she wants to try first. She takes a few noodles off Hyunjin’s tray and tries them, and she's silent for a moment as she chews. Hyunjin watches her carefully to gauge her reaction, and Nancy’s silence and blank expression is hard to read.

 

“So… Is it… do you like i–” Hyunjin’s cut off by how Nancy immediately grabs more noodles off Hyunjin’s tray, letting out a soft hum while eating them.

 

“It's so good…” Nancy says, her voice muffled by food. She reaches out to take more food off Hyunjin’s tray, but Hyunjin slides her tray away when Nancy gets too close.

 

“Hey, this is _my_ lunch, too,” Hyunjin laughs, a wide smile on her face.

 

Nancy suddenly catches herself and blinks, shaking her head to snap herself out of it. “S-Sorry,” she whispers, handing Hyunjin back the chopsticks. “It's… it's good.”

 

“You can have a little more if you want. Just don't eat all my food!” Hyunjin laughs again, not letting Nancy hand back her chopsticks.

 

Since Hyunjin wasn't accepting the chopsticks back, Nancy takes a few more noodles but is sure to not grab too many before she hands it back over to Hyunjin. Nancy goes back to her own food after that, as does Hyunjin, and Nancy just stares at her sandwich. Pursing her lips, Nancy gently breaks her sandwich where it's cut in half and keeps one for herself, holding the other out for Hyunjin.

 

“Here,” Nancy says quietly, not looking at Hyunjin from her own hesitance and nerves. “You can have some if you want…”

 

Hyunjin blinks from surprise and takes the half from Nancy. “Oh, thanks.” She takes a bite from the sandwich and closes her eyes, letting out a pleasant hum. “Wow– you said your mom made you this? Does she want another daughter?”

 

Nancy lets out a soft giggle to that. “I think she has her hands full with me and my sister, but I'll let her know you liked the sandwich.”

 

“And you were the one complaining about American lunches…” Hyunjin shakes her head, taking another bite. “This is so good!”

 

“Hey, I was complaining about _school_ lunches, not homemade food to remind me of back home on my first day,” Nancy huffs, her voice quiet.

 

“Meh, still American,” Hyunjin shrugs, though she ends up smiling playfully before long.

 

Nancy smiles a little too, focusing back on her lunch for the remainder of the period. The tension in her shoulders eases away and she's able to relax around Hyunjin, even if part of her is still a little nervous.

* * *

By the time the final bell rings, Hyunjin’s antsy to get out of school and to finally leave after a long day. Though even if she's eager to leave, Hyunjin packs up slowly, if only to check on Nancy. She glances over and sees how Nancy is already packed up but is standing still, studying her phone screen carefully.

 

Hyunjin tilts her head and throws her backpack over her shoulder, standing up and stepping towards Nancy’s desk. “You catching the bus?”

 

Nancy glances up, surprised that someone's addressing her, but she calms down and shakes her head. “No. I’m walking home. I walked here this morning. It's just… it's just a matter of finding my way back…” She pouts her lips and stares back down at her phone.

 

Hyunjin sneaks a peek at Nancy’s phone, and she sees how Nancy is using her phone’s map app to try and figure out the directions back home. She smiles faintly for a moment before looking up at Nancy again. “Can I see?”

 

Nancy lets out a soft sigh and closes her eyes, passing the phone over. “Knock yourself out…”

 

Hyunjin takes the phone carefully into her hands, and she looks at the different streets between the school and the address plugged into the app. “Oh, okay…” Hyunjin screenshots the current screen and uses the markup tool to draw Nancy a path. “Here, just use this way. It's the easiest and you'll avoid the busy crosswalks.”

 

Nancy blinks from surprise when she sees the photo. “Uh… Wow… Thanks… How do you know all that?”

 

“Some of my friends live in that development too, so I've walked back with them a couple times. I just live the opposite way from the school,” Hyunjin says easily. “Try not to get lost, okay?”

 

“Yeah, that would suck,” Nancy mumbles to herself, readjusting her bag on her shoulders. She looks over at Hyunjin again and suddenly freezes up, not sure of what to say. “Um… see you tomorrow, I guess…?”

 

Hyunjin just smiles slyly. “Tomorrow’s Saturday, Nancy.”

 

“I– um– oh…” Nancy clears her throat awkwardly and averts her gaze, her cheeks growing a little rosy from fluster. She scratches at her cheek, shuffling on her feet. “M-My days must still be messed up because of the timezones…”

 

“No worries,” Hyunjin’s smile mellows into something a little more genuine. “Monday, though, that sounds more likely.”

 

Nancy nods, flashing a brief smile. “Yeah. Monday.”

 

“See ya’,” Hyunjin says. She waves a goodbye as she steps away, making her way out of the classroom and heading towards the exit.

 

Hyunjin finds her bike outside the school building, and she unhooks the chain from the bike rack and gets herself settled for the ride back home. It's a fairly simple path home on the sidewalks, and she doesn't feel much of a rush to get back since the weather’s nice. It's a little windy though, and at one point the wind blows some of her hair into her eyes while she's riding.

 

Hyunjin huffs to try and blow the hair out of her eyes, though it doesn't work at all. She reaches up with her left hand to brush the stray hairs away, and she feels her watch slide down from her wrist. Hyunjin glances at her wrist, and immediately her eye catches how the tattoo on her wrist is a bright yellow.

 

Hyunjin hits the brake on her bike and sets one foot on the sidewalk below. Her eyes are trained on her tattoo, locked in a stare she doesn't dare break. She blinks a few times, trying to make sure that she isn't imagining things, but the yellow remains, and Hyunjin isn't dreaming it up.

 

Hyunjin quickly pulls her phone out of her bag and looks up a key of all the colors and the emotions they represent. Yellow is the first one listed, and Hyunjin’s eyes go wide when she reads over what emotion corresponds with it. Slowly she returns her gaze to her tattoo, making sure that the color still remains.

 

_Happiness._

 

For the first time that Hyunjin can see, her soulmate’s experiencing _happiness_.


	2. Yellow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunjin's tattoo starts to show yellow more often.

Hyunjin watches her tattoo carefully throughout the whole weekend. For almost the entirety of Friday, the tattoo on Hyunjin’s wrist was yellow. Hyunjin falls asleep with an assurance and a comfort she's never felt before when she sees how her tattoo is yellow before closing her eyes.

 

Hyunjin just can't help but be so happy for her soulmate that they're finally, _finally_ able to experience happiness now. It feels long overdue, but Hyunjin would rather celebrate that it’s finally happening as opposed to dwelling too much on why that feeling hasn’t surfaced until now.

 

But when Hyunjin sleeps in on the weekend, she wakes up around noon to find that depressing blue upon her wrist again.

 

It seems as if all good things are never meant to last.

 

At the very least, Hyunjin can be happy for that one moment that brought light to her soulmate’s life,— but the return to the dark and gloomy blue is disheartening.

 

Even after watching her tattoo for any sign of yellow, Hyunjin doesn’t see a change the whole weekend. Monday rolls around far too early for her liking, and the next thing she knows, she’s waking up to the godawful sound of her alarm at 6 a.m., and she sees the blue on her wrist. Routine as always.

 

Hyunjin pulls up to her classroom with a few minutes to spare before the bell, and she walks to the back and haphazardly tosses her bag by the foot of her chair. Letting out a yawn, she sinks down into her chair and kicks her feet up, and as she stretches, she glances over and sees Nancy sitting at her desk, reading the novel they were supposed to read for literature lessons.

 

Hyunjin cracks a smile. “Finishing the reading last minute, huh?”

 

Nancy turns her head at Hyunjin and blinks, not expecting to be addressed. “Oh– no, I’m just looking over it again before class starts.”

 

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow teasingly. “ _Really_ now?”

 

“Y-Yes!” Nancy says, completely serious. “I did the reading twice over the weekend already!”

 

Now Hyunjin just looks at Nancy like she’s crazy. “... _How_.”

 

Nancy looks away, her cheeks going rosy from embarrassment as she adjusts her glasses. “I-I have a lot of free time…”

 

Hyunjin shakes her head and tries to brush it off. “Well, I didn’t do the reading at all. What happens?”

 

“Puck used the love potion on the wrong person, so now Lysander is in love with Helena,” Nancy explains.

 

“That can’t be good,” Hyunjin winces as she pulls out the book from her bag.

 

“It definitely is not good,” Nancy says.

 

Hyunjin gets herself resituated at her desk, crossing her ankles on her desk and leaning back in her chair. “See you in an hour when the period’s over.”

 

Nancy raises an eyebrow, confused as to what Hyunjin could be talking about, but she watches as Hyunjin opens the book and sets it over her face, blocking out the light so she can get some more sleep. It brings a smile to Nancy’s face for some inexplicable reason, and she turns back to her book with a hint of a laugh slipping through her lips.

* * *

“Hyunjin…”

 

Hyunjin hears a faint voice calling her name, stirring her from her sleep. She feels a weight on her face and she notices a faint sliver of light peeking through. Even though she’s slowly waking up, she doesn’t respond or move enough for the person with her.

 

“Hyunjin-ah, wake up… It’s lunchtime,” the voice says.

 

Hyunjin picks the book off her face and sits up, a little dazed as she looks around, squinting because her eyes are still getting adjusted to the light. “Lunch?”

 

“Yes. You want some, right?”

 

Hyunjin turns to her right, seeing how Nancy is standing beside her desk. No wonder that voice was so soft and quiet that it could barely wake Hyunjin up. “You know, you really don’t have the voice to be waking people up with. You have more of a lullaby voice.”

 

Nancy puffs out her cheeks, blushing. “I did my best…”

 

Hyunjin just grins. “Thanks. Were you waiting so we could go to lunch together?”

 

“N-No…” Nancy protests, crossing her arms and glancing away. “Someone had to wake you up, and I wasn’t just going to let you sleep through lunch like that…” She pauses for a moment, pouting her lower lip as she quiets her voice. “But you are my only friend so far, so… maybe a little.”

 

Hyunjin stands up and grabs her bag, standing right in front of Nancy as she slings her bag on her shoulder. “Well, let’s go then.”

 

Nancy slowly looks up to meet Hyunjin’s eye when they’re standing so close, and Nancy just nods her head, gulping. “Right…”

 

Hyunjin and Nancy walk to the cafeteria and grab a table, and Hyunjin sets her stuff down and starts walking to the lunch line. She notices how Nancy just puts down her bag and doesn’t sit down, and she raises an eyebrow.

 

“Didn’t pack today?” Hyunjin asks.

 

Nancy shakes her head. “I figured I’d get my own tray instead of eating off yours.”

 

Hyunjin cracks a smile. “You _did_ eat nearly half of my lunch last time.”

 

Nancy glances off to the side and purses her lips in a pout. “Y-Yeah…”

 

“Relax, I’m teasing,” Hyunjin laughs. She gestures towards the lunch line with a tilt of her head, smiling at Nancy still. “Come on. I’ll show you the good stuff.”

 

Nancy slowly comes to smile and nods her head, following Hyunjin’s lead.

 

Hyunjin runs her left hand through her hair as she walks, and she catches sight of how her watch slides down her arm when she lifts it, exposing her wrist. Hyunjin sees that the tattoo on her wrist is a pale yellow, and her expression lights up at the sight of it.

 

Her soulmate’s happiness is back.

* * *

Her tattoo seems to turn yellow at random times throughout the week, and there are probably even more times that she just doesn’t catch her tattoo changing. Even if the blue is almost always guaranteed to return, Hyunjin’s still happy, because there’s finally some force in her soulmate’s life bringing them happiness. That’s more than she could have asked for.

 

Hyunjin sits bored in class that Friday as a movie plays on the front board, and she pulls out her phone and puffs out her cheeks, setting it on her desk and wrapping her arm around it to shield it haphazardly. She scrolls through her Instagram feed, bored out of her mind.

 

Looking for something to amuse herself, she looks through her camera roll for one of her funniest pictures. As Hyunjin does so, she notices a light out of the corner of her eye that then dims, and she looks over to see Nancy also on her phone, toning down the brightness. Nancy hides her phone under her desk, trying way harder to be discreet, and it gives Hyunjin an idea.

 

A grin curving her lips, Hyunjin finds a funny photo of a cat on her phone and then goes to share it. She sees “Nancy’s iPhone” as one of the AirDrop options, and Hyunjin’s grin widens as she sends the photo to Nancy.

 

Hyunjin turns her head to try and catch Nancy’s reaction, and she has to bite back her laughter when she sees Nancy pout her lips and furrow her eyebrows in confusion before glancing around the room. Nancy’s eyes fall on Hyunjin, and Hyunjin has to cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing and from smiling too wide.

 

“Was that you?!” Nancy whispers.

 

Hyunjin nods her head, her smile so wide it reaches her eyes.

 

Nancy just puffs out her cheeks and looks at Hyunjin disapprovingly, shaking her head. “Weird…”

 

Hyunjin bites down on her tongue and laughs quietly to herself, turning away. She gives it a moment’s rest as she looks for another photo, and after a few minutes pass, Hyunjin AirDrops Nancy a pic that reads:

 

_There’s something wrong with my phone… It doesn’t have your number in it._

 

Hyunjin glances over only to see Nancy looking at her with a dead stare at what she’s just received. Hyunjin flashes a cheery smile as if to say ‘please,’ and Nancy puffs out her cheeks again and looks down at her phone. Next thing Hyunjin knows, Nancy AirDrops a screenshot of her number in her notes app, and Hyunjin just blinks.

 

That’s one way to do it.

 

Hyunjin types the number into her message app and sends Nancy another cat photo, and in the time it takes Nancy to reply, Hyunjin fills out a contact page for her.

 

**[naen:] Gee, wonder who this is**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] hiiii**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] i’m bored :(**

 

**[naen:] Do you think this historical documentary is boring?**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] uh. yeah**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] and i can tell you do too**

 

**[naen:] Pfft, can not**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] then how come i’m not the only one on my phone in the middle of class? *thinking emoji***

 

**[naen:] . . .**

 

**[naen:] Okay fair**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] hey**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] hey are you free this weekend**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] or are you too busy doing the next three weeks’ worth of readings in advance again**

 

**[naen:] . . . Heeeey :’(**

 

**[naen:] That was one time!!!**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] that one time was enough for me to figure out what kinda student you are :3**

 

**[naen:] >:(**

 

**[naen:] I’m free. . . and no I’m not spending my free time doing your homework again**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] that was one time!!!**

 

**[naen:] .**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] …..ok touche**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] but no i wasn’t gonna ask for more homework (unless you’re offering in which…. ;) yes please)**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] do you wanna come over to my house for a bit?**

 

**[naen:] I. . . really?**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] yeah! :3 i got like. viki and hulu and stuff**

 

**[naen:] :O**

 

**[naen:] Okay. . . ! Sure!**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] sweet B)**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] oh, and**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] i hope you’re not allergic to cats :D**

 

**[naen:] . . .**

 

**[naen:] This is gonna be a ride isn’t it. . . ^^;**

 

Hyunjin just smiles to herself as she exits the app and glances around, letting out a breath. She looks down at her wrist, noticing how her watch slipped out of place again, revealing her tattoo on her wrist.

 

Hyunjin’s smile grows even wider to see the yellow.

* * *

Hyunjin sits upside down on her living room couch, boredly watching whatever talk show is on the TV as she waits. She couldn’t care less about these middle-aged women in attendance embarrassing themselves on TV for the shot at winning some weird knife set or whatever gifts talk show hosts give out these days.

 

...Actually, a knife set kinda sounds cool–

 

A knock comes at the front door, and Hyunjin immediately rolls herself off the couch and stands up, smoothing out her clothes before she walks over to answer it.

 

When Hyunjin opens the door, she sees Nancy standing on the other side, dressed in an off-the-shoulder, flowy white top over light blue capris. Her hair is slightly wavy as it falls over her shoulders, and her big glasses rest on the bridge of her nose as always.

 

Hyunjin and Nancy just stare at each other in silence, Hyunjin’s eyes slightly wide as she does so.

 

Hyunjin’s the first to speak up as she looks over Nancy more openly, a little taken aback. “Was I supposed to dress up?” she whines, feeling a little lackluster in her black t-shirt and black sweatpants.

 

Nancy cracks a sheepish grin. “Was I supposed to dress down…?”

 

Hyunjin smiles too and shakes her head, brushing it off and stepping aside to let Nancy in. “Eh, doesn’t matter. Come on.”

 

Nancy hesitantly steps inside and takes off her shoes, looking around Hyunjin’s house. It’s a neat place, cozy too. She looks back at Hyunjin, who’s stepping towards a staircase.

 

“My room’s upstairs,” Hyunjin says, setting her foot on the first step.

 

Nancy nods and follows Hyunjin upstairs, and she walks into Hyunjin’s room once she opens the door for her. Looking around, she sees how there’s a bean bag and then Hyunjin’s bed, and she blinks at the sight.

 

“You can sit wherever,” Hyunjin shrugs.

 

Nancy makes her way to Hyunjin’s bed and sits down, crossing her legs and resting her hands in her lap. She watches as Hyunjin claims the beanbag for herself, sinking right in with a loud plop, bringing a smile to Nancy’s face.

 

“So,” Hyunjin begins once she resurfaces from in the bean bag chair. “How’s your first week or so in Korea been?”

 

Nancy blinks, thinking it over for a moment. “Um… A little weird, but not bad,” she says. “It’s a lot to get used to. I don’t really remember this place at all from when I was younger…”

 

Hyunjin tilts her head. “You’ve lived here before?”

 

Nancy nods. “But only, like, back when I was a baby. I can’t remember much from when I was that young.”

 

“Makes sense,” Hyunjin says easily. “Was it scary moving to a whole new country?”

 

Nancy shrugs, unsure. “I-I mean, I wasn’t that scared about moving here… The scariest part for me was the flight over. I was terrified that whole flight…”

 

“Scaredy cat,” Hyunjin teases with a grin.

 

Nancy just deflates and lets out a sigh. “I know.”

 

Hyunjin smiles a little more genuinely after that. “If it’s any consolation, you don’t seem nearly as scared now as you did a week ago.”

 

Nancy looks over at Hyunjin, a little surprised by her words. “Really?”

 

“Yeah,” Hyunjin nods, that teasing grin back. “You looked like you were terrified that I’d bite your face off that first day.”

 

Nancy lets out a soft laugh, lowering her head and smiling to herself. “Yeah, well, now I just know you’re trouble, not scary.”

 

“What? Trouble?!” Hyunjin repeats with a laugh. “Aww, come on! I’m good trouble at least, right?”

 

“I think that’s an oxymoron,” Nancy laughs quietly.

 

Hyunjin just laughs again, shaking her head. “I take it back! You’re not scared at all! You’re brutal!”

 

Nancy giggles, reaching up with her left hand to tuck her hair behind her ear. Hyunjin notices something on Nancy’s wrist, and on closer inspection, she recognizes it as a small bandaid.

 

“Hey, what happened to your wrist?” Hyunjin asks, raising an eyebrow.

 

“What, this?” Nancy looks at the bandaid on her wrist and shakes her head. “Nothing. I just use it to cover my soulmark.”

 

“Ah…” Hyunjin hums quietly. It’s common courtesy for people to conceal their soulmate tattoos in public— especially when their tattoos are in conspicuous places like their hands— to not broadcast their soulmate’s emotions to the world. Hyunjin wears a watch over hers, which admittedly isn’t the perfect fix considering how often it slides down her arm instead of staying on her wrist, but she likes being able to keep an eye on her soulmate’s mood, especially as it changes to show more yellow.

 

Again, on closer inspection, Hyunjin finds something interesting. “Is… Is that a Hello Kitty bandaid?”

 

Nancy freezes, her cheeks slowly turning a soft pink as she lowers her gaze, nodding faintly. “...Yeah.”

 

“Gotta hide that tattoo fashionably, huh?” Hyunjin laughs.

 

Nancy huffs and looks away, crossing her arms. “L-Listen, I swear these things heal scratches quicker than regular bandaids…”

 

Hyunjin smiles widely. “It’s cute.”

 

Nancy smiles a little too, her cheeks staying rosy from the compliment.

 

In those few seconds of silence, Hyunjin pushes herself off the bean bag chair and to her feet, stretching a little. “Speaking of kitties… I’ll be right back. Find something for us to watch in the meantime.”

 

Nancy spots the remote on Hyunjin’s bed, and she turns on the TV and scrolls through some of the options. She finds a movie that catches her eye, and she breaks out into a wide smile at the sight, and she presses play.

 

Hyunjin walks in seconds later, cradling a grey cat in her arms. She walks towards the bed to give the cat to Nancy, but she stops, suddenly remembering something. “Wait. You’re allergic,” she says.

 

“I had a feeling this would happen,” Nancy looks up at Hyunjin and grins, holding out her arms for the cat. “I took my allergy meds. I should be okay.”

 

“Don’t die,” Hyunjin says, passing the cat into Nancy’s arms.

 

Nancy laughs softly, looking down at the cat. The cat doesn’t move much except flick its tail. “What’s its name?”

 

“Her name’s Moon,” Hyunjin says, sitting down next to Nancy.

 

“Hi Moon,” Nancy says, scratching the cat’s head. “Nice to meet you.”

 

Moon purrs softly at Nancy’s touch, and Hyunjin breaks out into a smile. “She likes you.”

 

Nancy just holds Moon tighter to her chest, petting her even more. “I love her.”

 

“Hey!” Hyunjin hits Nancy’s shoulder. “First you stole my lunch! You better not try and steal my cat!”

 

Nancy looks at Hyunjin with a wide, innocent smile. “No promises!”

 

Hyunjin fakes a huff and looks away, though she smiles before long. She looks at the movie Nancy has playing on the TV, and Hyunjin raises an eyebrow.

 

“Tangled?” Hyunjin asks, confused.

 

Nancy stops kissing Moon’s head and flashes a nervous smile. “I love Disney…”

 

Hyunjin shrugs easily, smiling faintly at Nancy. “Works for me.”

 

Nancy smiles even wider, and Hyunjin just reaches over to pet Moon in Nancy’s arms, getting herself settled for the movie.

* * *

After the movie’s over and what seems like hours of conversation later, Nancy catches sight of the time, and she goes to stand up suddenly, brushing Hyunjin’s shoulder as she does so from how close they’re sitting.

 

“I- wow. I did not know it was that late…” Nancy mumbles. “I should get going.”

 

Hyunjin tilts her head. “You can sleep over if you want. My mom doesn’t care.”

 

Nancy grins to herself, letting out a nervous laugh. “Aww, thanks, but- I have to get up early tomorrow… I wouldn’t want to wake you too.”

 

Hyunjin just shrugs emptily, glancing away and letting out a breath. “No worries.”

 

“Some other time though?” Nancy asks, hopeful.  


Hyunjin looks back at Nancy and sees the hopeful and nervous smile on Nancy’s lips, and it makes her grin too. “Yeah, for sure,” she says, standing up to lead Nancy back to the front door.

 

Hyunjin opens the door for Nancy as Nancy puts her shoes back on, and before Nancy steps out, she stops in front of Hyunjin, drawing in a sharp breath.

 

“Thanks for inviting me over,” Nancy says quietly, fumbling with her hands.

 

“Yeah, of course,” Hyunjin just smiles, opening her arms for a hug.

 

Nancy hesitates for a moment before she steps into Hyunjin’s arms, hugging her goodbye. She pulls away shortly after, stepping outside and waving goodbye. “See you Monday!”

 

Hyunjin just gives a two-fingered salute in goodbye, closing the door behind her. She makes her way back up to her room, getting ready for bed now that’s company’s gone.

 

After she’s washed up and changed into her pajamas, Hyunjin throws herself onto her bed, letting out a yawn. She feels the metal of her watch clatter when she hits the bed, and she reaches down to unclasp it from her wrist and set it on her nightstand.

 

From instinct, Hyunjin glances at the exposed tattoo on her wrist, seeing how it’s yellow. She smiles faintly to herself and rolls onto her back, holding her wrist over her face, staring idly at the tattoo on her skin.

 

But as she’s staring, Hyunjin witnesses how that yellow slowly starts to change color, morphing into green before settling in to that familiar blue that Hyunjin knows all too well.

 

It settles in for Hyunjin then as well, that even with her soulmate’s new source of happiness, it seems as if that blue’s still there, never to go away.


	3. Pink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new color appears on Hyunjin's wrist.

It seems as if wherever the yellow goes, blue follows.

 

Hyunjin finds that some days are better than others when it comes to the blue tattoo on her wrist. Sometimes, her tattoo is yellow for the majority of the day. Other times, it’s mostly blue. She supposes that it’s just however her soulmate’s mood fluctuates that day. Since she doesn’t know her soulmate, all Hyunjin can do is pray for those better days, and hope that she sees more yellow than blue.

 

Sometimes Hyunjin wonders how often her soulmate sees the blue on their own tattoo, from Hyunjin’s saddened mood whenever she sees the blue on her wrist.

 

Hyunjin also wonders if her soulmate is as concerned as she is when it comes to what color shows on their wrist. Is she the only one who cares? Does her soulmate worry on her behalf too? Or does Hyunjin just care _too_ much?

 

When people like Nancy have more definitive ways of hiding their tattoos, such as through bandaids instead of a slippery watch on one’s wrist, Hyunjin sometimes thinks she checks her tattoo more than everyone else does. People can shut out their soulmate’s moods so easily and keep it hidden, but for Hyunjin, she wants her tattoo to always be easily accessible, because she truly cares, and she wants to see that her soulmate is having a good day.

 

Maybe Hyunjin does care too much. Lately, she’s been feeling more down. It was surely saddening for her before when all her tattoo ever was was blue, but now that Hyunjin sees that there is a source of happiness in her soulmate’s life, but it’s not enough to win out against the blue, that just depresses Hyunjin even more than the permanent blue. She doesn’t know which is worse: a perpetual blue, or a weak, fleeting yellow.

 

If Hyunjin’s grateful for anything, it’s that one of the few times when she isn’t constantly checking her tattoo is at school. Being out in public makes her have to conceal her tattoo, and being in class and busy keeps her distracted.

 

Also, her friends at school, like that Nancy of hers, do a great job of keeping her mind off her tattoo and the sadness that fills Hyunjin whenever she thinks of the color blue.

 

Hyunjin arrives at school one morning feeling more tired than usual. Considering her first class is a history lecture, she assumes she has a good window of opportunity for a nap…

 

She walks into her classroom with only a few minutes to spare, as usual, but one thing that is unusual is how when Hyunjin gets to her seat, Nancy isn’t reviewing her homework for the sixth time, but has her head down on the desk. Hyunjin raises an eyebrow, confused by this odd change.

 

“Nancy?” Hyunjin asks carefully.

 

Nancy lifts her head and turns towards Hyunjin, her eyes tired— and devoid of their regular glasses, Hyunjin notes. “Oh, hey Hyunjin,” Nancy says weakly. “Hey… I got a question for you.”

 

“What’s up?” Hyunjin says.

 

“Have you ever been caught sleeping in class before?” Nancy asks with a soft yawn, rubbing at her eyes.

 

Hyunjin blinks when Nancy yawns so softly, caught off-guard at how cute she looks when sleepy. Hyunjin’s mind immediately goes to amend that thought— Nancy’s just _objectively_ cute. “No,” Hyunjin says quickly, shaking her head. “The instructor doesn’t really focus back here all that much,” she flashes a playful smile. “Just don’t snore.”

 

Nancy nods her head slowly, letting out another yawn. “That’s nice… Well, I’m gonna take a nap.”

 

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow. Nancy is not the type of student who dozes off during class… “That’s not like you.”

 

“I know,” Nancy huffs, crossing her arms on her desk and lowering her her. She keeps her head turned towards Hyunjin for now, her eyes half-lidded and heavy. “I… I didn’t sleep at all last night.”

 

“Is everything alright?” Hyunjin asks with a frown, her expression turning concerned.

 

Nancy stays silent for a moment before she shrugs weakly, turning her head away. “Sometimes I just can’t sleep at night. It happens every once in a while.”

 

Hyunjin lets out a soft hum, not knowing what all to say. She just knows that Nancy must be really tired if she’s considering sleeping during class, and she supposes that Nancy’s bout of insomnia was just that bad the night before to push Nancy that far. “I’ll take notes for you while you rest,” she says.

 

“Thanks, Hyunjinnie…” Nancy murmurs, already halfway asleep.

 

Nancy’s yawn from before seems to be contagious, as Hyunjin yawns then too. She’s pretty tired herself, and even though her sleepiness pulls at her eyelids, Hyunjin fights it off. Nancy has it worse than she does, and Hyunjin will just have to sacrifice one day’s worth of naps so Nancy can rest at ease and not have to worry about what she’s missed.

 

Hyunjin opens a notebook and tears out a page, dating the top and writing the class subject as a header. She lets out a soft breath, staring at the page beneath her.

 

She isn’t really a good notetaker, but she knows she’ll have to figure it out if she really wants to cover for Nancy.

* * *

Hyunjin watches as Nancy wakes up halfway through fourth period, lifting her head off the desk and rubbing at her eyes. Hyunjin can only spare a few glances Nancy’s way, too busy trying to take notes, but she notices how Nancy seems more alive than she did earlier in the day, so she must’ve had a good nap. Nancy just sits at her desk for the rest of the period, following along as the teacher delivers his lecture without taking any notes.

 

When the period ends and the students are dismissed for lunch, Hyunjin drops her pen and shakes out her wrist, tired from writing so much. She gathers together the few papers she went through taking notes and hands them over to Nancy.

 

“Thank you,” Nancy says quietly, her voice still showing some signs of sleepiness. “You didn’t have to.”

 

“Just consider it me paying you back from all the times you’ve offered to let me read your notes after I’ve slept in class,” Hyunjin says dismissively, packing up her things for lunch.

 

“You’ve never actually taken me up on that offer, though,” Nancy points out.

 

“You still offered,” Hyunjin says. “I appreciate that.”

 

Nancy looks down at the papers in her hands, her cheeks warming up at Hyunjin’s comment. She quickly tries to find something else to talk about as she glances Hyunjin’s notes over. “Did you… Did you just transcribe every word the instructor said in your notes?”

 

Hyunjin smiles awkwardly. “I don’t know how to take notes, so… at least this way I could tell you I didn’t miss anything important!”

 

Nancy glances up at Hyunjin and flashes a weak smile. “I can sort through these later tonight and take note of the important stuff,” she says. “Because it looks like you wrote down the entire exchange between the instructor making fun of one of the students…”

 

“Yeah, that was important for me, so I kept writing,” Hyunjin laughs.

 

Nancy smiles a little wider. “Of course it was.”

 

Hyunjin grins too. “Are you awake enough for lunch?” she pauses before smiling a little wider. “Or– I guess it’s breakfast for you, since you just woke up.”

 

“Brunch,” Nancy jokes, a hint of a grin to her lips. She nods her head and grabs her bag, waiting so that they can walk over together.

 

When they reach the cafeteria, they grab a table together, and Hyunjin watches as Nancy sets her stuff down. “You haven’t been packing a lot recently,” Hyunjin notes.

 

Nancy shakes her head. “Do you know how expensive peanut butter is in Korea?! I can’t pack every day.”

 

Hyunjin pouts her lower lip and looks at Nancy. “But your mother’s PB&J sandwiches are so good…”

 

Nancy scrunches her nose and playfully swats Hyunjin’s arm. “Fine, then you buy me the peanut butter if you want it that badly.”

 

“I’m getting cravings at this point. I might have to,” Hyunjin says.

 

Nancy lets out a yawn during that dip in the conversation, and she rubs at her eyes when she notices how two girls walk past her and Hyunjin in the lunch line and wave to Hyunjin. Hyunjin waves back, and Nancy blinks slowly, her eyelids still heavy from being tired.

 

“Can I ask you something?” Nancy says, glancing up at Hyunjin.

 

“Go for it,” Hyunjin replies.

 

“You like… had friends before I showed up, right?” Nancy asks. “N-Not that I doubt that you did, but… I had to ask.”

 

“Yeah. You’re not my only friend,” Hyunjin answers, raising an eyebrow from confusion. “Why do you ask?”

 

“I-I mean… I’ve been keeping you from your friends at lunch ever since I’ve come here, haven’t I? It’s only ever been us two at lunch… I don’t want to keep you from your other friends…” Nancy admits quietly, averting her gaze.

 

Hyunjin tilts her head, looking at Nancy. “You’re not keeping me from them. They know that I’ve been sitting with the new kid as she’s been getting adjusted. They get it.”

 

“Well… if you wanted to go back to sitting with them, I’d get it…” Nancy says, prodding her fingers together.

 

Hyunjin shakes her head, flashing a smile. “And ditch you? Nah, I don’t think so.”

 

“But don’t you want to sit with your friends again?!” Nancy stammers out.

 

“I’m already sitting with my friend now, duh,” Hyunjin teases. “Besides, if I did start sitting with my other friends again, I wouldn’t just leave you to sit by yourself. I’d invite you with me,” she steps closer and pokes Nancy’s chest. “I’ve just been sitting with you alone because I figured that someone who’s kinda shy like you wouldn’t do well being thrown into a group of loud, new people, so I’ve been waiting until you got more comfortable here before I asked if you wanted to meet my other friends.”

 

Nancy’s lips part from surprise, and she blinks at Hyunjin, touched. “I– really? You’ve been waiting for me…?”

 

Hyunjin nods as if it’s obvious, smiling widely. “I wasn’t gonna throw you to the wolves your first few days here. And it’s not like I hate sitting with you, so I wasn’t in a rush to introduce you to everyone. I figured you’d ask about it when you were ready.”

 

Nancy lowers her head, smiling faintly to herself as she feels her cheeks grow warm at how considerate Hyunjin was on her behalf. “I think I’m ready, then…”

 

“Alright. We can sit with them tomorrow when you’re not a zombie,” Hyunjin says playfully.

 

Nancy lets out a soft laugh. “Okay!”

 

Hyunjin smiles too, turning her head to look ahead in the lunch line.

 

She notices how Nancy stands just a little more closely to her side after that.

* * *

Hyunjin introduces Nancy to her friends later that week, and while Nancy starts off pretty nervous, she settles in with the rest of Hyunjin’s friends shortly enough. Two of Hyunjin’s friends, Chaewon and Ahin, hit it off with Nancy the quickest, though Heejin and Joowon get along with Nancy just fine too. From that point on, it’s the six of them at lunch, but Hyunjin still makes the effort to catch Nancy so it’s just the two of them sometimes.

 

One night while laying in bed on her phone, Hyunjin rolls over onto her stomach and opens up her messaging app, typing out a text to Nancy.

 

**[hyunjinnie:] think you can take a break from doing the whole week’s worth of homework saturday night?**

 

Hyunjin gets a text back a few minutes later.

 

**[naen:] Bold of you to assume those are my Saturday night plans**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] what else could you be doing**

 

**[naen:] I**

 

**[naen:] I will think of a comeback to that later**

 

**[naen:] Why do you ask?**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] pffft you can’t put a (comeback pending) disclaimer on a text it doesn’t work like that**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] wanna come over to my house again and order food?**

 

**[naen:] Shut up I do what I want >:(**

 

**[naen:] And ooo. . . sure! I kinda have pizza cravings. . .**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] pizza works!**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] i’ll see you then!**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] hopefully you’ll think of a comeback before then**

 

**[naen:] 8-8 you hurt me**

 

**[hyunjinnie:] ^_^**

 

Hyunjin lets out a yawn once their conversation ends, and she locks her phone and sets it next to her pillow for the night. She gets herself comfortable for bed, though she spares one look at her wrist before she closes her eyes.

 

She smiles slightly, seeing the tattoo as yellow.

* * *

Nancy takes a slice of pizza and pulls it onto a plate, breaking apart the strings of cheese that keep it attached to the other slices with a finger. She eyes the plate hungrily as she waits for her slice to cool in anguish.

 

“This looks so good…” Nancy says before blowing on the slice. She settles into the beanbag chair in Hyunjin’s room.

 

“I know,” Hyunjin agrees, grabbing a slice for herself and sitting down on her bed. As she waits for it to cool, she finds them a movie to watch: a romance about two college students discovering that they’re soulmates, even though one of them is dating someone else.

 

They finish the whole pizza within the first half of the movie, and they admittedly do not pay too much attention to the plot of the movie. Instead, they spend most of the time either on their phones or talking, especially about the gossip surrounding their friends.

 

“Chaewon and Heejin…” Nancy begins, her voice quiet. “They’re a little clueless, aren’t they?”

 

Hyunjin lets out a sigh. “Yeah. Just a little.”

 

“They make it pretty obvious,” Nancy mumbles, fixing her gaze on the TV.

 

“Don’t tell them that though,” Hyunjin shakes her head. “They get stingy about it.”

 

“Figures,” Nancy takes a sip of water. “Do… Do you think they’re…?”

 

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “Soulmates? I don’t know. I mean, they’re both clueless. They’re perfect for each other. I wouldn’t be surprised.”

 

Nancy just nods her head, letting out a soft hum. She watches the movie on the TV quietly, following the scene when the two main characters find out that they’re each other’s soulmates and kiss for the first time. She hurriedly averts her gaze and fumbles with her hands at that moment, feeling a little flustered.

 

Nancy looks over, seeing how Hyunjin’s on her phone, completely oblivious to the movie playing on the TV. Nancy swallows once, looking Hyunjin over, debating anxiously with herself over asking Hyunjin a question.

 

“Hey, Hyunjin…?” Nancy asks hesitantly, already seeming to regret speaking up the second those words leave her mouth.

 

Hyunjin lets out a hum to let Nancy know she’s listening, but otherwise she stays on her phone.

 

Nancy sighs softly, nervously prodding her fingertips together. She gulps, trying to find her courage to pose the question without desperately wanting to just wave it all off and pretend she never spoke up. “Um… Do you ever wonder what you’d do once you meet your soulmate?”

 

A question like that causes Hyunjin to suddenly stop scrolling on her phone, freezing in place and locking her jaw. She forces herself to seem nonchalant, and she shrugs her shoulders, staring down at her phone. “I don’t know… Tell them how much I’ve been wanting to meet them?”

 

“I-I mean… Like, once you find each other, you’re supposed to be, like… together, right? That kind of frightens me…” Nancy admits quietly, keeping her gaze off Hyunjin.

 

Hyunjin sets her phone down and sits up a little straighter, raising an eyebrow at Nancy. “How come?”

 

Nancy stands up in that moment, keeping her gaze low and continuing to wring her hands together from nerves. “Like, if you’re together, that means you have to do couple-y stuff, and be affectionate…”

 

“Does it scare you because you think that’s moving too fast?” Hyunjin asks, confused as to where Nancy’s going with this.

 

“I– no…” Nancy shakes her head weakly, and she walks over towards the edge of Hyunjin’s bed and sits down, keeping her head low. “I guess… I guess I’m just afraid…of being inexperienced with all that affection stuff…”

 

Hyunjin nods her head slowly, finally understanding. “Ah…”

 

“Because, like… what if my soulmate was one of those people who dated outside of their soulmarks? And– and I wouldn’t even have had my first kiss yet…” Nancy huffs, feeling her cheeks grow red from embarrassment to be admitting such a thing. “I don’t wanna embarrass myself in front of my soulmate like that…”

 

“I mean… if you’re that worried about it, you could try and date someone else and get practice in,” Hyunjin offers awkwardly, rubbing at the back of her neck.

 

“That’d be so mean to use someone like that, though,” Nancy pouts her lower lip. “And… I kinda wanna wait until I find my soulmate before I start dating… I don’t think I could date someone and still wait for someone else,” she lets out a sigh. “I know that’s kind of counterproductive, since my biggest fear is not having enough dating experience when I _do_ meet my soulmate…”

 

“Okay, maybe the ‘date someone else’ plan wasn’t a good idea,” Hyunjin lets out a breath and shrugs. “You can still find someone to practice on, though.”

 

Nancy raises an eyebrow in suspicious disbelief. “...How?”

 

Hyunjin shrugs. “You don’t need to be dating someone to be affectionate with them.”

 

“I mean…” Nancy pauses for a second and lets out a quick breath. “Yeah, you’re right, but… God, that’s gotta be so weird to ask, right? What would you do if I just suddenly asked you ‘hey, I have no idea what kissing’s like, wanna practice with me?’ out of the blue? That’s easier said than done to find someone to do that with, Hyunjin…”

 

Hyunjin lowers her gaze and twists her lips. “You know, if you were really asking me that, I probably wouldn’t say no,” she says plainly.

 

Nancy looks at Hyunjin, her eyebrows furrowed from surprise. “You… wouldn’t? You don’t think that’s a weird thing to ask someone? Especially a… friend?”

 

Hyunjin lets out a flustered sigh and looks away, crossing her arms. “I’m in the same boat as you are, Nancy. It’s not like I wanna embarrass myself and be a horribly bad kisser with my soulmate either. I don’t wanna be clueless when I meet them.”

 

With how the conversation’s starting to turn, Nancy glances elsewhere in the room, blinking in thought. She opens her mouth once and then closes it again, second-guessing what she’s about to say, but ultimately just saying it anyway. “Then… d-do you want to… practice?” she hesitates, her voice barely above a whisper, and her pitch rising from nerves.

 

“I mean, it’s not like we’re soulmates,” Hyunjin forces a shrug to seem nonchalant. “It’s just practice. It wouldn’t mean anything to me.”

 

“That’s…” Nancy hesitates again, “not a full answer…”

 

“F… Fine,” Hyunjin stammers, uncharacteristic of herself. “If you’re really that worried about being inexperienced, then you can practice on me.”

 

Nancy draws in a breath to hear Hyunjin’s answer, and she looks at Hyunjin with widened eyes. Slowly though, she starts to school her expression, and she lowers her gaze to the space between them on the bed and moves to sit closer to Hyunjin. Nancy reaches up and takes off her glasses, folding them and setting them aside and out of the way.

 

“Er– don’t you… need those…?” Hyunjin asks, watching Nancy remove her glasses.

 

“What?” Nancy furrows her eyebrows. “Do you think I’ll miss?”

 

“I don’t know how blind you are!” Hyunjin shoots back. “Please don’t miss…”

 

Nancy scrunches her nose in protest, moving closer. “I can see just fine close-up, thanks…”

 

Even with that brief moment of snark, Hyunjin can see how Nancy’s expression softens, and Nancy hesitantly reaches up to gingerly tuck some of Hyunjin’s hair behind her ear, freeing her face. Hyunjin watches as Nancy’s gaze travels across her features, and Hyunjin gulps under the scrutiny before her own eyes start to wander. Hyunjin’s never seen Nancy’s features up so close before, and she’s certainly never seen Nancy’s eyes so clearly now that she isn’t wearing her glasses. Unable to help herself, Hyunjin’s eyes trail down to Nancy’s lips, and she notices a small freckle rested right above the pink of Nancy’s lip.

 

The next thing Hyunjin knows, Nancy closes her eyes and seals the remaining distance between them, pressing her lips to Hyunjin’s.

 

The kiss starts off featherlight, as if Nancy’s hesitation still has a hold on her and is keeping her back. It’s like Hyunjin can barely feel anything against her own lips from how restrained Nancy is keeping herself, so Hyunjin takes it upon herself to close her eyes and push back against Nancy, kissing back.

 

With that little nudge, it seems as if Nancy is able to push past that fear holding her back, tilting her head and finally leaning into Hyunjin. Once she can actually feel pressure against her lips from Nancy, Hyunjin feels her heartbeat starting to race. Her thoughts circle endlessly in her mind, leaving her dizzy as she tries to make reason out of what’s happening. It feels weird at first, Hyunjin has to admit, to be kissing someone she considers a friend, but the longer Nancy’s lips are on hers, the more that unfamiliarity starts to dissipate and Hyunjin finds a budding curiosity inside of her to continue the kiss.

 

Nancy seems to feel the same way, growing bolder the more she becomes comfortable, and she moves even closer to Hyunjin, lifting her hand to Hyunjin’s cheek and cradling Hyunjin so carefully as she deepens the kiss. Hyunjin feels even more breathless the more Nancy pushes against her, and she feels her heart pounding in her chest. She rests her hand on Nancy’s waist, keeping her close, and she can hear Nancy’s soft breath when she separates from Hyunjin for a moment, only to rejoin their lips almost immediately after.

 

But that fog that clouded Hyunjin’s mind slowly starts to clear, and Hyunjin remembers that it’s just practice, and she figures that Nancy needs to remember that fact too before they both continue to get carried away. Nancy pulls back again, tilting her head in the other direction before seeking out Hyunjin’s lips again.

 

Hyunjin leans back before Nancy can resume the kiss, opening her eyes at last and letting out a breath, still dazed from the kiss. Nancy almost falls forward, not expecting Hyunjin to break it off, but she feels Hyunjin pull away and Nancy catches herself at the last second.

 

For a moment, they just look at each other in silence, both feeling the weight of what happened settle over them. Nancy reaches up to adjust her glasses in a nervous tic, but she realizes that she took them off and she glances away.

 

Hyunjin evens out her breathing with a heavy breath, averting her gaze. “I… I don’t think you have anything to worry about. You’re… you’ll be fine when you meet your soulmate,” she admits quietly.

 

Nancy puts her glasses back on and pushes them up the bridge of her nose, keeping her eyes off Hyunjin. Her cheeks are flaring hot and a bright pink, and she tries to hide that fact from Hyunjin. “Th-Thanks…”

 

“Don’t mention it,” Hyunjin says under her breath.

 

Nancy nods, firmly agreeing to not talk about it. She moves away from Hyunjin, creating some space between them on the bed and running a hand through her hair.

 

“So,” Hyunjin starts, more than ready to erase that thick air between them and change the conversation, “How long are you able to stay out tonight?”

 

“Until ten,” Nancy says, and she looks at the time on her phone. “I have a few minutes still, but I should get going soon.”

 

Hyunjin nods and she opens her mouth to say something, but she cuts herself off when she sees Nancy stand up and step away from her bed, suddenly no longer wanting to speak.

 

“I want to see Moon before I go,” Nancy says, adjusting her clothes a bit. “Do you know where she is?”

 

Hyunjin flashes a smile and she stands up too. “Let’s find her, then.”

 

For a fleeting moment, Nancy smiles at her too, though Hyunjin doesn’t get to see it for long before she steps out of her room with Nancy just behind her.

 

After a few minutes with Moon, Nancy has to head home for the night. Hyunjin joins her at the door, and she stands there for a moment before thinking up something to say.

 

“You never thought of a comeback,” Hyunjin teases. “Does that mean I win?”

 

Nancy snaps her fingers in defeat. “Shoot, I forgot…” she pouts her lips and looks up at Hyunjin, though for some reason, she isn’t able to hold Hyunjin’s gaze for long. “I’m not good at comebacks…”

 

“Do you need me to think of one for you?” Hyunjin raises an eyebrow, grinning mischievously.

 

“You were the one who made fun of me for not having Saturday night plans,” Nancy mumbles. “I don’t think I trust you to come up with a good comeback against yourself.”

 

“Well, I was wrong, Naen,” Hyunjin laughs a little to herself. “I didn’t expect you to be the type to kiss girls on Saturday nights.”

 

Nancy immediately hides her face in her hands, letting out a soft whine in protest. “S-Stop it… I liked it better when you were teasing me about being a nerd, not– y-yeah…”

 

Hyunjin just snickers, breaking out into a wide grin. “What, you’re gonna take the L instead of using my comeback? Well, if losses suit you…”

 

“F-Fine, you win…” Nancy huffs, stomping her foot and looking away. Her face is completely red.

 

Hyunjin’s smile mellows out after that. “Night, Nancy. Get home safe,” she says, opening her arms for a hug goodbye.

 

Just like last time, Nancy hesitates again before she walks closer for the hug, but unlike previously, her hesitation doesn’t stem from shyness. Instead, Nancy just lowers her gaze and quickly wraps her arms around Hyunjin’s, but even with that impatience to end the hug, Hyunjin hears a soft, contented sigh leave Nancy’s lips before she hurriedly pulls away.

 

“I will,” Nancy says softly. “Night.”

 

Nancy leaves shortly after that, and Hyunjin closes the door behind her. For a moment as Hyunjin’s standing there, her thoughts flicker back to what happened that night, and absentmindedly Hyunjin reaches up, her fingertips ghosting above her lips. But Hyunjin shoves aside those thoughts with an insistent shake of her head, and she walks up the stairs to go back to her room.

 

As Hyunjin unknowingly reaches up to touch her lips again when she’s in her room, Hyunjin glances down to see her exposed wrist. She looks at her tattoo, expecting to see yellow or blue on her skin, but to her surprise, neither of those colors are there. Her tattoo doesn’t even show the other color she’s familiar with— black.

 

Instead, the small crescent tattoo on her wrist is _pink_.

 

Hyunjin furrows her eyebrows, vaguely recalling reading about what the color pink is supposed to represent. But Hyunjin second-guesses the answer that comes to mind, completely positive that that couldn’t be possible, and that she must have it wrong. So she looks up what emotion is associated with the color pink, and strangely enough, it turns out Hyunjin was right.

 

But that answer Hyunjin receives only leaves her with more questions and more uncertainty.

 

Her soulmate is experiencing _love_ …?


	4. Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new colors on Hyunjin's wrist come as little comfort to her.

_Why is her tattoo pink?_

 

The question plagues Hyunjin for the next few days, and she still can’t arrive at some sort of conclusion.

 

Sometimes, Hyunjin watches as her tattoo fluctuates between yellow and pink, happiness mixing with love, perhaps both emotions augmenting the other. When the pink is involved, it’s almost like the yellow is even brighter on Hyunjin’s skin. Hyunjin knows it means that her soulmate is finally experiencing that strong happiness Hyunjin’s always wanted them to, but…

 

Hyunjin can’t help but feel hurt, that her soulmate is in love with someone else and is finding their happiness with someone other than her. Hyunjin’s always wanted to her soulmate to be happy, but she assumed that she would be the one to help her soulmate through those blue days…

 

Hyunjin stares at her tattoo whenever it’s pink, feeling bittersweet. What happens to her if her soulmate loves another? Hyunjin spent so long caring about her soulmate, wanting her soulmate to be happy, but now it just feels like Hyunjin’s to be left in the dust, alone, after all that time…

 

Even if Hyunjin wants to stop caring, she can’t, because everything still isn’t perfect and fixed with her soulmate. The pink and yellow seem to be intertwined, sure, but Hyunjin notices how that’s only the case half of the time. Pink and blue seem to be just as connected, with the pink leading to blue if it lasts for too long. Like those feelings seem to bring her soulmate happiness, yet also leads to anguish and sadness. Hyunjin tries to speculate what could be the cause of those conflicting feelings: is her soulmate loving someone without them returning the same feelings? Is her soulmate holding themselves and their feelings back and it’s hurting them?

 

All of these thoughts wrack in Hyunjin’s mind. It’s hard for her to think peacefully without her mind wandering back to her soulmate, or her gaze somehow working its way to her wrist. She just feels exhausted emotionally— tired, drained, and depressed. It starts to show in the way she carries herself, as she grows to lack the usual playfulness and humor she normally has.

 

It’s not hard for Hyunjin’s friends to notice the sudden change in her behavior. She doesn't crack nearly as many jokes as she used to. Sometimes she just stares off into the distance, spacing out in the middle of conversation, even when everyone’s talking about her favorite things. Any time someone in the group asks if Hyunjin’s feeling okay, they get a smile that doesn't reach her eyes and a dismissive reply, saying she's just tired.

 

Nancy walks into class one morning and sees Hyunjin sitting at her desk, her head on her arms. Nancy immediately frowns at the sight, and she grips the strap of her backpack tighter, being filled with the desire to help. Gathering her courage, Nancy walks up to her desk and sets down her bag before making her way to Hyunjin’s side. She kneels by Hyunjin's chair, resting her arms on the desk and softly clearing her throat.

 

“Hey,” Nancy says quietly, not wanting to disturb Hyunjin. “I know things have been rough for you these past few days, and I know you haven't really wanted to talk about it, but… I just want to tell you that– that I'm here, and I'll listen if you ever want to talk about it, o-or anything else for that matter.”

 

Hyunjin lets out a soft sound to let Nancy know she heard her, but otherwise she doesn't move. Nancy doesn't expect her to either, but having said her piece, Nancy knows it's best not to say anything further. She just sets her hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder as she gets up and goes to her own desk.

 

Class starts a few minutes after that, and even though Nancy’s always a diligent student, her focus for that day is anywhere but the lecture, as her eyes always drift to Hyunjin, filled with concern in every glance.

* * *

Later that night, Hyunjin lays on her bed, too restless to sleep. Her thoughts keep her awake, those same worries about her soulmate filling her with enough concern that she can't sleep. It's been getting to be too much, this constant worry, and Hyunjin’s realizing how bad it's getting. She needs to figure out some way to handle her worries, and in that moment, she remembers what she heard in school earlier that day, and she decides to throw all caution to the wind… The worst that can happen is that she's turned down.

 

Hyunjin turns on the lamp at her bedside and grabs her phone, going to her contact list. Her thumb hovers over a name, hesitation building inside of her, but she closes her eyes and hurriedly presses the call button before she can second-guess herself any more. She has to let out a breath and compose herself for a few seconds before she can lift her phone to her ear, and she hears how the line is still ringing. Hyunjin starts second-guessing herself again, and she figures she's gonna get sent to voicemail because of the long wait, so she pulls her phone away to hang up. But right before her thumb can hit the red button, she hears something quiet from the speaker.

 

“Hyunjinnie…?” Nancy asks in a soft voice.

 

“S… Sorry. Did I wake you…?” Hyunjin bites her lip.

 

“No?” Nancy says, a little more resolute. “It's 9pm. Even _I_ don't sleep this early…”

 

“You just sounded sleepy by how soft your voice was, I guess…” Hyunjin shrugs, even if Nancy can't see.

 

Nancy is silent for a second. “T-This is my normal voice…”

 

Hyunjin manages to smile to herself a little. “I should've known.”

 

“Did you need something, Hyunjinnie?” Nancy asks.

 

Hyunjin worries her lip again, trying to find her words. “Something’s been bothering me lately… and I can't stop thinking about it.”

 

“Yeah…?” Nancy says, a little breathless.

 

“I know we don't talk about it often… but it has to do with my soulmate,” Hyunjin says.

 

“Okay,” Nancy breathes out after a second’s pause. “I’m listening.”

 

“I don't want to bore you with the whole story, but… My tattoo is always blue. It’s been blue for forever, at this point. But… within these past two months, it's started to become yellow. For a little while, it was more yellow than blue. It's… It’s even shown as pink, too,” Hyunjin stops to gather herself, and she looks down at the tattoo on her wrist– blue, as expected. “But it keeps going back to blue. I see blue more than the other colors again, and it's like the other colors just lead right into sadness again. I hate seeing the blue. It… It breaks my heart. Even more than how it hurts seeing it turn pink without me.”

 

After Hyunjin confesses that much, Nancy doesn't respond right away. But she seems to notice that her silence might be concerning after Hyunjin unloaded all of that, so she quickly tries to stammer something out. “I… wow,” Nancy says.

 

“It's been bothering me so bad. I just… I just wish I could make all that sadness go away. But I don't know my soulmate, so all I can do is watch the colors change. I hate it. I hate knowing that my soulmate is sad and I can't do anything to help. I don’t… I don't even know if I can help them once I meet them,” Hyunjin’s voice trails off at the end, feeling helpless at how she can just do nothing.

 

“Look, I–” Nancy begins, but she stops to reconsider her words. “I know this has nothing to do with me, but– I… I think that you'll be able to help them when you meet them,” she pauses again, drawing in a shaky breath. “Before I moved here… I used to be sad a lot. I got bullied really badly in America. I used to be miserable all the time because of it, and how it never seemed to end. My parents noticed how bad it was getting, and they decided that we’d move to Korea before I graduated because I might be happier here. I was absolutely terrified to be here, and I was terrified of having the same thing happen again at school here… but I met you, and I met your friends. I'm a lot happier here than I was in America, and even though I have bad days– my confidence is still kind of wrecked, and I get so restless from overthinking sometimes that I can't sleep– even despite all of that, I'm still a lot better here, and that's thanks to you, Hyunjin… You… You made my life less blue. I know you can do the same for your soulmate. You don't need to worry too much over it.”

 

Hyunjin feels her breath leave her as Nancy speaks, touched at her words. She feels a warmth brew inside of her chest, and she fidgets with her phone in her hand in a nervous tic. “Can I ask you something?”

 

“Anything,” Nancy says all too easily.

 

“What colors do you see on your tattoo?”

 

Nancy stays silent for a moment, and Hyunjin can hear her let out a contemplative hum over the phone. “I don't see mine much, honestly. I keep it covered so often,” Nancy says. “ _But_ … when I change bandaids, I've been noticing a lot of blue lately. She must be sad too.”

 

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “‘She?’ You know who your soulmate is already?”

 

“N-No!” Nancy blurts out. “I-I mean, I just expected my soulmate to be a ‘she,’ or else I'm in for another identity crisis…”

 

Hyunjin smiles softly to herself. “I get it.”

 

Nancy lets out a breath to calm herself down. “Anyways… I know it might not be of much relief, but… anyone would be lucky to be your soulmate with how much you care. It might not seem like you can do much now, but your concern matters more than you think…”

 

“Thanks, Nancy…” Hyunjin says. “That helps.”

 

“Of course,” Nancy says. “I… I don't like seeing you sad.”

 

Hyunjin lets out a hum to that, and she bites down on her lip when a thought comes to mind, as if to stop herself from saying it. But her mind wins out, and she says it after all. “I, uh… I know it's late, but… do you want to come over? Talking to you helps…”

 

“I can do that,” Nancy says, but she sounds like she's asking a question from how unsure her tone is. “Are you sure I can?”

 

“I mean, you're gonna have to sneak in,” Hyunjin smiles to herself. “Hope that's alright.”

 

“Like, through your window?”

 

“Probably.”

 

Nancy falls silent and lets out a sigh, but Hyunjin can hear her moving. “I hope your waterspout is sturdy enough to climb…”

 

“Me too!” Hyunjin smiles widely to herself.

 

“I’ll be over soon,” Nancy says. “Wish me luck…”

 

“Don't fall and die!” Hyunjin laughs.

 

Nancy grumbles out a goodbye, and Hyunjin grins as she lowers her phone from her ear. Against her better judgment, she looks down at her wrist, and the sight that awaits her brings a frown to her lips.

 

The blue she's come to expect with every glance, and while it pains her to see, Nancy’s words lessen that ache in her chest.

 

But what Hyunjin doesn't expect to feel is that ache return ten times stronger at the sight of pink mixed with the blue.

* * *

A knock comes at Hyunjin’s window within twenty minutes, and Hyunjin quickly opens her window and screen. Nancy latches onto the window sill, and Hyunjin helps her inside. When Nancy ungracefully lands on Hyunjin’s floor, she just lets out a tired pant and looks up at Hyunjin.

 

“You're so lucky I don't hate you right now,” Nancy says.

 

“I know,” Hyunjin smiles, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

 

Nancy notices the lack of sincerity in Hyunjin’s smile and she drops her annoyed facade, standing up and bringing Hyunjin with her to the bed. “What's up?”

 

Hyunjin shakes her head and lets out a sigh. “It's this stupid tattoo…”

 

Nancy frowns. “The blue will go away in time–”

 

“It's not the blue that's bothering me,” Hyunjin cuts Nancy off as nicely as she can muster, even if she doesn't do a great job at it. “It's… It's the pink.”

 

“I… oh,” Nancy falls quiet.

 

“My soulmate loves someone. I never even met my soulmate, so it can't be me…” Hyunjin covers her eyes with a hand. “What if… What if I've spent all this time worrying over someone who doesn't even want to be with me? I-I know it's selfish to think that, but… but I've been so worried about my soulmate, and… and it'd break my heart if they didn't care about me…”

 

Nancy can hear the crack in Hyunjin’s voice and the way it starts to waver at the end, and it makes Nancy’s expression fall. She sets her hand on Hyunjin’s back and moves closer to comfort her. “Hyunjin–”

 

“I’m scared, Nancy…” Hyunjin whispers, her words muffled by the lump in her throat from holding back tears. “I-I’m scared that I don't matter to them…”

 

“Oh, Hyunjin…” Nancy says softly, feeling a strong ache in her chest to see Hyunjin so sad. “I’m sorry…”

 

“Just… look!” Hyunjin shoves her wrist out towards Nancy, turning her arm over so Nancy can see the crescent tattoo. “Every time I see that blue I worry, but… but that pink… I don't want to find out that they don't think about me…”

 

Nancy doesn't move when she lays eyes on Hyunjin’s tattoo, sitting there completely still, with her lips parted ever so slightly. Hyunjin chokes back a sob, rubbing furiously at her eyes to get rid of her tears.

 

“They love someone else… They don't want anything to do with me… And it just… it just hurts…” Hyunjin’s mouth goes dry as she speaks, that lump in her throat making it hard to say anything. She wraps her arms around Nancy and pulls her closer, needing her comfort, burying her face in Nancy’s neck.

 

Nancy remains as tense and rigid as before when Hyunjin’s holding her, but she slowly manages to move her arms around Hyunjin’s back, but she doesn't hug Hyunjin back immediately. She slowly looks down at her left wrist over Hyunjin’s shoulder, and she grabs the bandaid covering her wrist, pulling it back. Her eyes fall on her tattoo of a crescent moon, colored with pink and black.

 

Nancy slowly clenches her jaw, her shock subsiding after a few moments. A million thoughts course through her head, but a few things stick out to her as everything registers in her mind.

 

Nancy and Hyunjin’s matching tattoos are both pink. They're both in love.

 

While that revelation should come as a relief to anyone, Nancy only feels dread pool in the pit of her stomach as she thinks the situation over.

 

Nancy’s in love with Hyunjin. She was in love before even knowing Hyunjin’s her soulmate. Now that she knows, nothing’s changed, either. Her feelings are the same. She's in love with Hyunjin.

 

Hyunjin, however, isn't in love with Nancy.

 

Hyunjin’s in love with her _soulmate_. She hasn't a clue who they really are, yet Hyunjin’s feelings for her soulmate, stemming from years of concern, worry, and care, are so strong that she's in love with someone she thinks she's never met. Nancy doesn't factor into that equation at all. To Hyunjin, Nancy is just a friend.

 

And when Hyunjin’s crying in her arms, heartbroken and distraught, Nancy can't bring herself to tell Hyunjin anything.

 

Why would Hyunjin love _her_ , anyway?

 

Hyunjin’s only ever had eyes for her soulmate. She's probably never so much as given another person a second glance.

 

Nancy’s heart breaks enough to see Hyunjin in such anguish. She can't add to the mix the pain of seeing Hyunjin's disappointment to discovering that soulmate she's spent her life worrying about is just Nancy.

 

So Nancy covers her tattoo with the bandaid again. She sets her hands on Hyunjin’s back and tightens her arms around Hyunjin in a hug to console her.

 

But even when Nancy is focusing on getting Hyunjin to stop crying, tears of her own slip out, though she does everything in her power to keep quiet, to not let Hyunjin know.

 

Nancy can't unload the truth of being Hyunjin’s soulmate on her when Hyunjin’s so heartbroken over someone else, so she stays silent.

 

She thinks it's better this way.

**Author's Note:**

> au/writing twt: mysungset  
> au/writing curiouscat: jaisy


End file.
